Happy Birthday Ascendance

Happy Birthday Ascendance! We started classes on 9/24/2018 but this whole week has been one big celebration for us!

I can’t believe you’re turning a year old. We have much to celebrate and have accomplished so much with that time. It’s been an incredible honor to be a part of building something so big, something so special, and something we can all be proud of. I thought this would be an appropriate time to put some of my ramblings together and share a little bit about how this thing came together. 

If we haven’t met yet, hello! I’m Tara Steed, founding member, Board Secretary, Program Director, and I teach a few classes. When you call, email, or interface with someone online in one of our many channels, it’s likely me you’re chatting with (but you’ll soon see Ascendance is much more than me!). I am responsible for much of the studio operations and business-y things, curriculum and programs, and managing our staff. I work closely with my partner and Executive Director Maggie Nation, get an immense amount of help in the financial/accounting department from Catherine Budinger, and much of our social media is organized by Kirstie Chan. Annalisa Mai helps lead and run our Scholarship Program, and Tram Le wrangles our Workstudy Program. It’s takes many hands to make this thing go, and there are many more to thank for their invaluable contributions.

But back to how we got started - I vividly remember sitting down with Maggie and Cynthia at a dessert shop in Seattle’s Chinatown in early 2018, talking about a crazy idea we had. I was very pregnant, it was dark and cold out. I’m sure I had a mango smoothie (mangos were my pregnancy craving).

In the weeks prior to this meetup, we were talking about renting a small space to put up some poles in and share with friends. At first, it was a group of 5-6 of us, then we wanted to invite a few other pole instructors we knew, and then it was a few more dancers, until we realized that we were basically just talking about a studio at that point. That’s what brought us to this conversation.

“Should we do this thing? Would it be insane to think about starting a studio? Could we build a true community?”. We are each true realists and knew this was not a decision to take lightly, and that it would require a huge commitment from all of us. I think deep down, we each knew what the answer was before the questions were even asked. After some fruitful conversation, we agreed to give this a shot and to start planning.  As we enjoyed our sweet treats, we knew we had just agreed on the birth of something incredibly special. 

The summer before this meeting at a Pole Unbound retreat, I had many conversations with studio owners and long-time pole veterans who all seemed to voice the same concerns: Studios thrive when community is its heart. Studios collapse when the weight of running that studio burns out the owner. It was evident early on that the key to building a successful community for the long term was to start building it WITH a community. It was also evident we needed to bake in a structure that would support the studio’s leadership and not burn anyone out. Community and teamwork were to be the foundation in which we build this new thing. 

After our meeting, we began to share our idea and meet with like-minded people. We talked through many iterations of this studio. Each meeting we had seemed to pick up a few more excited participants. It was clear from the start that it didn’t make sense for us to go with a traditional business model. We talked through Co-Op Models, a Multiple Owner model, traditional LLCs, and Non Profit structures.  We wanted to have a more distributed leadership team, to be community-focused, and for this organization to have longevity. After evaluating all we had in front of us, we decided collectively to set up as a non-profit, as this model would keep the focus on benefiting everyone equally, while also building on the community-focused intention.

We got together as a group to ask some hard questions. We whiteboarded, soundboarded, each took on copious amounts of research to understand what it would take to make this successful, and finally we created a business plan. It was fun and exciting, and still very much conceptual! And then Candace found it - THE place. The future home of Ascendance. It was perfect. Tall ceilings, perfect street front location, a wonderful and supportive landlord, and it ticked all the other requirement boxes. A space like this doesn’t come along often, if ever at all. It was time to act. 

What was first a maybe 2019 or 2020 goal and a slow, steady build, was now a decision we had to act on immediately. Spring of 2018 was a flurry of activity. Shortly after giving birth to my son, I filed for our business license and drafted our Articles of Incorporation. I remember having my new son Felix on my chest as I made those initial phone calls and filings.

Next, we carefully selected our initial Board of Directors and started more serious planning. Not long after that, we signed our lease and started designing our studio space, picking out poles and apparatuses, and selecting building materials. By June, we had the keys and were starting demo and construction. Just a few short months later, Ascendance opened its doors.

It has been a true whirlwind, and I am immensely proud of what we’ve achieved so far. We’ve built a true organization with over 25 staff, instructors, and volunteers in less than a year. We offer 40 classes a week, host monthly workshops, setup a Workstudy Program,  launched a Scholarship Program, created a Holding Space program, hold Community Events, and do so much more. We have more ideas than hours in the day, and the potential is enormous!

It’s not all sunshine and roses, and we’ve had some hard months, some overwhelming challenges, and many, many growing pains (ouch!). Through it all though, we’ve stayed dedicated to learning, growing, and continuing to lift each other up and to trust that we can rely on each other’s strengths in good times and bad. Each day brings a new learning opportunity, a new curve ball, new things to consider… and with that new ways to learn, grow, and get bigger, better, and more efficient.

Many people will advise you not to go into business with friends. I actually feel quite honored that my friends share this very special thing with me. It’s definitely not easy, but the payoff is so worth it. Our friendship and mutual respect is our strength, it’s what gives our studio heart. It also let’s me see and appreciate all new facets of these beautiful women. Each person on this team gives me more than they know, and I appreciate each one of them for the grace, forgiveness, and trust they each give me as I learn to grow as a leader. I am so thankful and appreciative of all they give and sacrifice to make this beautiful thing work. It’s been a huge year of personal discovery and growth for me, and I have the studio and all it’s wonderful people to thank for so many revelations. I’m looking forward to growing more and to giving back to this place and the people that have helped me along the way. I hope the studio is that for many others too. A life-changing place where magic happens, where discovery is made,and  where real self love happens.

I am so excited for all that year 2 will bring Ascendance. I am so grateful for each one of our clients and the trust you have placed in us. So here’s to us Ascending into year 2! Go Ascenders!

Tara Steed
Program Director

Here’s some fun behind the scene photos leading up to our opening last year to commemorate how far we’ve come. <3

Approaching our 1 year!

Has it been a year already?  When we look back at all of the work we’ve done, and how far we’ve come since opening, it feels both much longer and much shorter at the same time.  This time last year we had just finished painting and started laying floors. Our opening date was getting closer and closer and we still had so much work left to do.  Building out the studio space and getting everything ready for opening required all of us to pitch in and work harder than we ever had before. Seeing our studio filling with students who were excited to learn and make new friends made all of the late nights and early mornings worthwhile (all 619 of you unique beauties!).  In the course of this first year, we’ve continued to grow into our beautiful space, we’ve worked hard to build a talented team of instructors, and we’ve put many hours into developing the framework to make this nonprofit stand the test of time.

Speaking of nonprofits, one of the top questions we get asked is… What is this nonprofit thing all about? At Ascendance, we want to invest whatever the studio makes back into the studio, back into the community, and into programming and scholarships to grow and support our mission of making this artform more accessible for dancers from all walks of life. Choosing to go the nonprofit route means we are governed by a Board of Directors, who help set the direction of the organization. The Board is responsible for hiring the Studio Directors to run the studio and manage all its assets. This structure also allows us to submit for our 501(c)(3) charity status - once granted to us, this status will open up the doors to grants, donations, and other unique opportunities that will enable us to lower operating costs and provide more services for our students. We run our business just the same as many other studios - we sell classes and services to our clients in the same way many other businesses do. However, any profits over and above our payroll and operating costs goes right back into the studio. 

From the very beginning, we knew we wanted to do things a little differently.  We wanted to build a community with intention, to structure the business of running a studio so that no one person was responsible for everything, to share our talents and build something together as a team.  We set to work early on key programs to support our mission. Our flagship program is our Scholarship Program. Launched in the winter of 2018, to date we have subsidized and supported 8 scholarship recipients. We look forward to growing this number in 2020. This Scholarship Program has enormous potential and is already making a  difference in accessibility of pole and aerial for those who otherwise couldn’t afford it. We also have a work-study program with many wonderful work-trade students who help keep things running smoothly, greet and check in clients and in exchange, we are able to help keep their class costs down. 

Going into 2020, we have big goals for year two. We hope that our completed 501(c)(3) application is submitted and approved. We intend to expand both our Scholarship Program and our Holding Space Program (if you don’t know about it, learn more here. We’re so excited about it!) and keep offering work-study opportunities. We also want to make monthly Community Jams a priority to help knit all of us together even more. Big, exciting stuff on the horizon; all while we continue to refine and expand our curriculum and programming, and keep this positive momentum driving us forward. 

We thank you all for your continued support. We would be nothing without our students and are grateful you trust us. We look forward to serving you, dancing with you, and growing together in year two! 

- Team Ascendance

Thank You!

Love, Team Ascendance!

Holding Space: a place for you

 "What does it mean to hold space for someone else? It means that we are willing to walk alongside another person in whatever journey they’re on without judging them, making them feel inadequate, trying to fix them, or trying to impact the outcome. When we hold space for other people, we open our hearts, offer unconditional support, and let go of judgment and control." -Heather Plett

As a nonprofit, our mission statement is: “Ascendance Pole and Aerial Arts serves a diverse community, builds self-esteem, and empowers artistic expression in a supportive and safe environment.”  In order to serve a diverse community, we must build one with intention. Just existing in space is not enough to reach the people who might benefit from joining us. We must accept that many people are not ready to jump into a class filled with strangers of different backgrounds, ages, and levels of experience.  In addition, many marginalized groups have reported being made to feel unwelcome in pole studios and are unlikely to expose themselves to another rejection. In order to reach these people and welcome them into our community, it is necessary to create a space that is specifically labelled as just for them. It is not enough to say, “Our studio welcomes everyone.”  We must seek out their participation and show clearly that we would welcome their presence in our studio and our community.  This is where the idea of the beginning of Holding Space came to fruition.

    Holding Space is still a fledgling program that will grow and change over time, but at its core it is simply what it says it is: we are holding space for you.  We will strive to ensure that the events are led by instructors who are members of the community that we are reaching out to, so that they can see that not only do we welcome their group as students, but also as instructors.  From time to time that may not be possible, or we may have to work harder to make it happen, but we recognize that this is important enough to put in the work.  

    We have hosted two events to reach out to the LGBTQ+ community and have an upcoming event (Black Pole Experience with Tinkk Holt) that focuses on welcoming the black community into our studio.  These have been met with an overwhelmingly positive response so far (in fact, our BPE event filled completely within 48 hours) and we look forward to adding more.  

Whereas we hope that the people who attend Holding Space events will join our community and continue to attend classes in the future, we understand that this may not be possible or comfortable for everyone.  In fact, often by coming to our event, the person has stepped so far outside their comfort zone that they may need a while to process the experience and may decide not to return, or may need to attend a few events in order to feel comfortable enough to attend a regular class.  We honor this as a success as well; stepping outside of your comfort zone is an achievement in and of itself. We hope that whether or not attendees decide to join us again in the future, they know that we recognize and celebrate them just for coming through the door. We hope they enjoyed the experience and time we shared with them and thank them for sharing our space and trying something new. 

If you would like to learn more about us, or be notified about future events, please sign up for our newsletter or follow us on social media. We look forward to welcoming you into our studio!

Subscribe

* indicates required

Email Address *

First Name

Last name

Q2 Scholarship Recipients - Meet Nettie

Learn more about our net Q2 recipient, Nettie, in our Q&A below!

What drew you to Ascendance?

I have literally been to EVERY aerial/pole studio in western Washington, and even some in Portland. I’ve also literally worked with tons of pole, aerial, and flexibility trainers/instructors over the years. It is my honest opinion, that Ascendance has taken the best instructors throughout the state and assembled them into one studio location. Not only am i confident, through my ongoing training relationships with these individuals, that Ascendance has the best team of qualified instructors...but the studio itself is one of the best designed, as well as being the newest. On top of that, the studio is one of the most affordable, and what little it might cost in excess to some other studios, it makes up for in quality of trainers, class content, environment/atmosphere, and more. Plus, this studio is conveniently located closer to me than any other studio in the state.

Your decision to apply for scholarship and the outcome of it.

I decided to apply for the studio scholarship because of a lack of financial resources. I was the recipient of the spring quarter scholarship. I’m very grateful. I decided to focus my class efforts towards the Lyra and was able to do my first student showcase, which has always been a goal of mine. 

How was your experience in class?

I always enjoy my classes at ascendance. All of the instructors and other studio members/clients are very kind, supportive, and fun to be with. I always learn something new, and always challenged while having a great time.

What are your pole/aerial goals?

After a 2.5 year shoulder injury recovery, I’ve taken a few pole classes to start getting back into pole. But, my focus has been on learning more with the Lyra, becoming more fluid and confident with it, and rebuilding my strength. I look forward to doing more showcases in my future, and want to perform and/or compete (I’ve done neither so before).

What has been the most challenging to learn?

I choose to confront my fears and push past my limitations. I have been working on getting into higher hoops, working on the top bar of the Lyra, and doing things in the span set. I am afraid of heights, spinning, and falling. Sometimes these things trigger my anxiety and it takes me longer to be able to learn these new things. Thankfully, Ascendance has wonderful instructors that make me feel safe even when my anxiety is working against me. After a long injury recovery, it’s also sometimes hard for me to do things that require a lot of rotator cuff strength. I could literally lift ZERO pounds for four months after my injury. Put the two of these challenges together and one very difficult trick I have not been able to attain is the inverted man on the moon. I see many other people get this in the first class they attempt it, so I am sure it’s something I’m going to have to work on mentally. And, that brings up another challenge, remembering that it’s ok to take my time with things. 

What would be your advice to students who wants to try pole/aerial/dance?

Many people do not think they have the strength to do this. I literally had ZERO strength and I am doing it. So can you.

---

Thanks for sharing, Nettie, and for the kind words! We love having you in class!

Q2 Scholarship Recipients - Meet Shirley

Get to know Shirley with a Q&A below!

What drew you to Ascendance?
Looking for a place where has professional teacher, nice community, positive people and fun workout. Ascendance is the place with all these criteria that I need! And I was looking to try new things, like Pole fitness, Ariel Yoga, and Lyra. Things that people are curious but never have motivate to try it, and I am now doing it!

Tell us about your decision to apply for scholarship and the outcome of it.
Based on financial need, and also looking for ways to get my skills improve. In financially, this scholarship helps me tons that I do not have the financial stress so I can focus on skill improvement. And as a first enrolled student, I might give up after the first failure of class. The scholarship reminds me the commitment that I have, and instructor keep reminds me that no one success in the first try. In addition, the support and positive energy from all the instructors has make me stronger. And from doing pole fitness has make a big difference, that I start love working out more than I thought, and I am now more toned up than before I used to. The most important thing is I met a group of girls who also love pole fitness as I do, which makes me like working out just much more fun. Not just working out, but achieving the same goal with other girls.

How was your experience in class?
Class within Ascendance is fun and positive. Instructors are all very helpful and professional that not just teaching you skills, but also sharing the safety knowledge, and also leading you to find your own style of dance. I can confidently tell my friends this is the best gym place I've ever had, and I believe everyone will love it once you start here. Instructor advice professionally and team encourage each other for better and harder skills.

What are your pole/aerial goals?
For a long term goal, I would like to be a pole/aerial performer. I would like to share the knowledge and spirit to everyone that pole and aerial is not because I want to be a stripper or to work at a circus. I want to tell everyone I've found my favorite workout! Nothing is impossible unless you have tried it. If you think I am trying for being a stripper, maybe you should try once and you will know it is the whole body fitness and build up in self-confident. And I bet you will love it and get addicted to it!

What has been the most challenging to learn?
Climbing and flow. Climbing is like strength, as I have never work out and do not have any strength at all. It was frustrating to keep failing from climbing, but I never give up, and I can see the difference by time and every time I do it. For flow is more like the confidence and smooth flow of dancing. I have no experience in dance at all, and dance flow is another difficult issue for me. The only thing I could say is, practice make perfect. After doing more class from Ascendance, I am now more confident in dancing. The most important thing is not just improving the dancing skills, but I do enjoy every moment in every class!

What would be your advice to students who wants to try pole/aerial/dance?
Never give up to things that you like! You never know if you never tried or experience it! You will see the difference and I bet you will love it! Come and join us, and I'm sure that you will love this workout and community!

---

Thank you for sharing your experience with us, Shirley! It’s been wonderful having you in our studio and seeing your growth!

In Celebration of Mother's Day

At Ascendance, we celebrate all walks of life and honor the strength that comes from our different backgrounds and from our shared experiences.  For Mother’s Day, we sat down for a roundtable discussion on motherhood, pole & aerial, balance, and the strength we each draw from this community with 5 of our instructors who are also mothers.

Meet our moms!

Tara is mom to silly Felix, 14 months.
Tram is mama to precious Kaia, 8 months old.
Yael has sweet Grace, 5 years old.
Annalisa has her beautiful girls Elexyss, age 15 and Kieralyn, age 12.
And Cynthia mothers her two kids, True age 14, Max age 12.

Did you start pole before or after your kids came along?

Cynthia:  I started after.
Annalisa: Me, too.
Tram: Yeah, pole came first for me.
Tara: Yeah, pole was first for me, too
Yael:  Pole was my first love. Everything else came after that. I will say that, pole was actually part of the things I thought about when we were talking about getting pregnant. And I know that sounds crazy, but I was just like, "What's this gonna be like for my body?" “And not just like how's my body gonna look different, but how is it gonna behave differently in terms of the things I wanna use it for."
And then, you know, lifestyle change after that. How is that gonna affect my ability to still be an athlete. And those were things I thought about really seriously, and had to kind of struggle through even a little bit of guilt about that, like, why should I prioritize this versus a baby? And ultimately decided well, I'm just gonna try and do both, 'cause I want both
Tara:  I had very, very similar thoughts. It was like, this is the timing to have a kid, but is this timing in my, like, "pole career." Am I, like, ready to slow down? And I wasn't. But then deep down I was. So it was really hard to make that decision to start a family. It's been a hard adjustment to give up the level of dancing I was doing, but it's been so worth it. And this is just a different season; eventually I’ll be able to pole more for myself again.

How has pole changed your relationship with your body?

Cynthia: I have to say that my relationship with my body and my self care really, kind of, changed after I had a kid. I think I picked up pole when my son was ... I don't even remember anymore. He was a little older, but, I just felt big. I couldn't stay in shape in a regular basis. I felt big, and I really didn't like my body very much. You know? I saw pole as a way to regain that confidence and that perspective on being happy with my body and it's strength.
Tram: I feel like doing pole before having a baby made it very ... easy on myself when it came to  post-baby, because, you know, post-baby you kinda just feel like garbage. You kinda just feel like this big blob of, like, extra-ness (everyone laughs in agreement). But I feel like pole helped me just forgive that about myself. Like, it teaches you the self love that you need.
Tara: I actually struggled- still struggle with that. Coming back after baby and being really hard on myself. I think I came back to pole a little too quickly and maybe before I was ready. With the studio ramping up so quickly,  I didn't feel like I had time to really, like, to just love my current postpartum state. There was perceived pressure… I'm sure there was none and that I created it in my head, like, to get back in shape and hurry up and be ready to do this thing. To be strong again and creating new content for my students. I was really self-conscious about my abilities and my body. It wasn't until I got in the studio more and seeing my students reflect this message of self love back to me, that I was able to give myself more grace. ..if that makes sense. Like, as much as we say pole is about what you can do and not what you look like, that was a message that I didn't really internalize until way late in my postpartum recovery.  I learned a lot of that back from my students. So, it's funny how it comes full circle. Here we are, telling our students, "Love yourself no matter what. You are amazing. You're perfect as you are. You're, like ..."
Yael: But it's hard to do it for yourself.
Tram:  But when it comes back to yourself it's a hard pill to swallow.
Tara: Yes!
Tram: I think I still struggle with it, but pole definitely makes it easier.
Tara: It does. And this community we're building and this vibe, like, everyone's just so supportive

What do your children think of you and pole, or what would you hope for them to see?

Annalisa: I started pole four years ago. At that time, Elexyss and Kiera had just started gymnastics. We have been on this journey together as a family. We would share our goals, such as getting our splits, do a backbend (a bridge), handstands, etc. And so... being able to show them how I’ve worked hard to achieve those goals meant a lot to me.  And, in a way, this journey has strengthened our bond. We have more interests in common now, and they are more willing to talk to me about their struggles because they know I’d understand. I feel like we have a special connection because of this.
Cynthia: I really feel like pole has such a stigma with it, you know? A negative one. There's so much body shaming that already goes on, right? I don't want my daughter to feel that way about her body, and I want her to be able to see women be proud of who they are no matter what size they are. Women wearing pole shorts and tops and dancing with heels, and not thinking that that is, some, stigma or negative thing. Whatever your self expression is, or however you wanna keep in shape, I want my kids to kind of embrace that.
Tara: Yeah, I think a lot, I- I have a son. And how different that'll be for Felix, with his mom being a pole dancer as he grows up. I want him to think of that as a positive thing and not a stigma. Like, yeah my mom is this badass. And she can lift her body and do all these crazy tricks, and she helps these women, and men... everyone who comes in to feel really good about themselves. I do worry about, like, as a young boy growing up, how classmates are gonna treat him as he shares what his mom does, so I think that's something I'll continually be thinking about, is how to just empower him with the right messaging to not feel ashamed about what his mom does. And related to all that, I think that's my mission as a mother of a boy is to raise a boy who is, you know, supportive of all the women in his life, to recognize they can express their sexuality without shame or not just for men’s benefit, and to know he can be sweet, kind, and sensitive.
Tram: Mm-hmm. Different journey with a girl.
Yael: I wanna add that my self talk has changed a lot from pole, and then  it really helped me through recovery after having  a baby. And then, what's really important to me now, and it's always been important to me to set a good example about how I treat my body and how I view my body with- in front of Grace. I want her inner voice to be a powerful, strong, positive one. And I think that pole has given me that in a way that nothing else could.
So, most of the time that I'm looking in the mirror in front of Grace it's, I mean, yes I get ready in the morning, but, like, that's not that big of a deal, I just get ready. But when I'm looking in the mirror and I have, like, pole clothes on, I'm talking about my body in terms of how I'm using it and what I'm trying to do with it, and she's participating in that, and there's never a moment where I'm criticizing something about my body. Not to say that I don't have thoughts like that, 'cause I think we all do, but the majority of the things that she's experiencing are about what our bodies can do and not what they look like.
And then similarly, when I have her here in the studio, she's getting to witness women of all different sizes and shapes and abilities doing awesome things, and I wish I had that when I was growing up. Because everything that I saw, especially women with their clothes off to some degree, was like, "Oh they have to be a certain way, look a certain way." And I was never exposed to something awesome like this, and she sees that all the time, and it's just normal, and if it wasn't for pole I don't think she'd have that.

What's been the most challenging part about combining family and pole?

Tram:  Oh. Time. Number one.
Tara:  (laughs) Yes, yes, yes.
Cynthia: Time.
Annalisa: Definitely time.
Tram: It's time. I feel like, it might get easier as Kaia gets older, but being the mother of a child that is under one who's bedtime is like 7 PM when we start classes. There's just, no time. And then now, that I'm back at work and I'm a working mom too, by the time I get home and feed my kid, it's time for her to go to bed. And it's just like, do I sacrifice my time with her to come to the studio? It's really hard to find that balance.
Cynthia: Yeah. I, I think it changes too as your kids start to grow older and their time change. Yeah. I feel like I've evolved my practice. I don't do as much pole anymore. And I found that I had to pick and choose. Like, you can't do everything and you can't like carry everything forward at the same pace, right? So, you kinda have to pick and choose what you want to focus on in that precious one evening or couple of hours. Just do it and let go of some stuff. If you don't take care of yourself, it's hard for you to be there for your kids. Plus the kids are older now, so I'm kinda reaching that age where they don't actually always want me around. That's Friday night. Honestly that's where the Friday nights come from. They really don't want to do anything on Friday night with me, or anybody else.

How do you balance your pole/aerial commitments and your personal life?

Annalisa: Yeah. Adding on to Cynthia said.  During my first year doing pole, I was really obsessed with it. I’d feel the need to reach a certain level and always wanted to learn “harder” tricks, so I would spend all my free time at the studio. Then, when I took a long break last summer, I didn’t feel the need to focus on pole, so I started focusing on other aspects of my life. It felt good!
Now that I’m back to training and teaching regularly, and you're right Cynthia. Finding a good balance is important. I would frequently talk to my girls about how important it is to have independence and do what makes them happy.
And I also explained to them that the reason why I’m involved in this “extra work” is because that’s how I develop myself. I need to develop myself in order to help them grow. It’s important that they understand, so they don't feel that I am neglecting them or that I don’t want to spend time with them.
Tara:  So that saying, you can’t pour from an empty cup…
Tram: Right. Mm-hmm
Annalisa: Yup!
Cynthia: Yep.
Tara: Yeah. For me it's time and finding balance. Easier said than done. I compare my life to a baby’s crib mobile - I’ve added a new balls to it and am now trying to find a new balance point and find a new equilibrium. The mobile’s rocking right now, but will find stasis and settle eventually. But I think, being really intentional..  like before I used to pick up and head in the studio whenever I felt like it with zero planning. Now it’s... I have to be very deliberate about any time I dedicate because it takes so much coordination and comes at the cost of something else. But I think like, like Annalisa said, I reframed my practice. It's not, “I need to get the strength more, I need to be this strong”. It's, “I'm just gonna move because it makes me feel good. And if I get a little better great.” (laughs)
Yael: Time is uh, definitely something that we struggle with as a family too. And I think for us it's been more about finding a balance of family time and work, you know, two parent working family. For a while, Chris was a stay at home dad, which made things a little bit easier. But now that we both work, it's constant insanity. On the flip side of that, I think I got pretty lucky in that my intention when Grace was born was to include her in my practice as much as possible and hope that she was going to be into it. And I have been lucky that she's really into pole and aerial and wants to participate as much as possible.
The fact that she's here with me right now, Daddy was going to take her on an adventure this morning 'cause he hasn't seen her for a couple days, and she goes, "No, I wanna go with Mom to the studio."
Tara: Awe. (laughs)
Yael: So she just loves to be here and she loves to participate. And I think that that has made my life a lot easier because I have poles at home and any time I wanna be up there training, most of the time she wants to train with me. If she gets tired of it, she'll play with dolls or play her iPad or something else. But, I don't have to deal with a lot of guilt, at least at home when I'm training because she's participating with me. And I think that would be harder if she wasn't as interested. Um, but, my husband on the other hand (laugh). He's, he's well known for saying, "Would you please come down off the pole?" (laugh) "And have dinner." (laugh) "Because it's been ready for 20 minutes already." Um, yeah, so finding spousal time is a different-
Tram: Yeah. Spousal time is rough. We don't have it. (laughs). We don't have uh, spousal time, we have family time.
Tara: We're trying to get more intentional about setting date nights. But again, it comes all back to, you just have to plan everything. Nothing happens on a whim anymore.
Cynthia:  No.

What has pole taught you about yourself?

Tram: That's, a loaded question. Very loaded.  
Annalisa: Lots of changes since. I think pole has given me a lot of self-confidence. Like, true confidence in myself. I don't feel the need to have other validate me. Physically and emotionally and mentally.
Tram: I would say that's true for me too. Confidence and self love. Real self love.
Yael: I think the biggest thing for me, there's so many things pole's given me over the years, but it taught me that I have abilities beyond what I ever dreamed. Like, if I could go back, you know, 12 or 13 years, and look at where I am now. I never would have thought that that was possible. I didn't consider myself to be this kind of an athlete. And I didn't think I could be strong like that. I remember when I first started taking pole and thinking, "Oh, I'll never be strong enough to go upside down." And the way that that translates to every day life is huge.
Because I'm like, okay, well if I can do all these things, there's other things in my life that maybe if I don't feel good at it now, maybe if I work at it I can do better. It's just, it's a, it's a motivator in all facets of life.
Cynthia: Yeah, I would say, I mean I agree with every single thing everybody said. I would speak to my experience teaching pole to other people and that is that you're not alone. Like there's actually quite a few students that are mothers as well, or are parents. And they all struggle with a lot of the same things. So just going in there a couple hours a week to teach and be with that community actually makes you feel like you're giving them something awesome. Being with people who share some of the same things that you constantly struggle with and look at you for that sort of inspiration feels great.

What advice would you give to another mother who wants to pole and says I can't?

Tara: You can. Get in here! (laughs)
Tram: And I think we do say “you don't have to do the hard things.” You can just, I mean, you just have to move. You don't have to do tricks or anything. Now that I'm a mom, I kind of shy away from tricks; new tricks and even my old tricks, I can't do 'em.
Cynthia: I can't either. (laughs)
Tram: (laughs) I still love coming in. I still love just dancing. You don't have to do anything hard.
Cynthia: Whatever it is. Maybe it's not pole. It's working on your flexibility. Whatever it is. Everybody always comes in here and then they're like really has spent some time and then they come out and they're like, I'm so glad I did that.
Tara: Yeah. I don't think I've met anyone who's taken a class and then like, "No. I shouldn't have done that." so it’s worth trying even just one. And even myself- on those days when I don't feel like coming in. I walk in the doors and all of a sudden something lifts and I never regret coming in. Even on my worse days, driving here in tears from whatever is going on… I don't wanna move. I don't wanna socialize. I don't wanna interact with people. And then I walk in and there's a smile on someone's face and we start moving and the music's going. And it's… just everything melts away. And you're able to be present with yourself and be with some amazing people.
Tram: That's how I feel
Cynthia: Yeah. Me too... It's really powerful.
Yael: My favorite thing to say to somebody who's unsure about pole- 'cause I hear "I can't" a lot from people who have not done pole before”,  and my favorite thing to do in that situation is first ask them the question why. 'Cause I wanna hear what it is they think they can't do. And really listen to what they're saying. And not, just, you know, have a rebuttal to them about it. But just say something along the lines of "What's great about pole is that it meets you where you are."
It's not something that you have to be already strong for. Or already flexible. Or already whatever it is that you're struggling with. And I know time is, is a big barrier but you can carve out time if it is something that you really want and this is not like other forms of dance where you're facing, you know, certain requirements. We have available to people something that will speak to them. It's a matter of coming in here and finding what that is at any level.

---

Thanks, Mamas!

We look forward to hearing about your experiences, too. Please share your experiences on motherhood and finding balance in the comments below <3

---

Mother’s Day Wish from Ascendance

Happy Mother’s Day to mother’s and mother figures of all kinds. As many of us have experienced different facets of motherhood, we know this day can be one of incredible emotions all across the spectrum - both happy and painful.

Our wish is you each find joy and peace no matter how you choose to celebrate it (or not celebrate). Give yourself permission to take care of yourself in whatever way your heart needs <3